Inleiding
In 2017 kwam ik voor eerst in aanraking met Centering Prayer en doe dit gebed twee keer per dag 20 minuten. In de ochtend voor het ontbijt en in de tweede helft van de middag. De beoefening van dit gebed heeft mij veranderd. Meer dan elke andere eerder door mij beoefende vorm van gebed of meditatie. Het uitzonderlijke in dit gebed is dat je enige activiteit daarin bestaat dat wanneer je opmerkt afgeleid te zijn (door gedachten, gevoelens, emoties, lichamelijke sensaties, etc) je innerlijk het zelf gekozen ‘heilige’ woord zegt waarmee je zacht en liefdevol loslaat dat wat je afleidde, en terugkeert naar een liefdevol rusten in het samenzijn met God.
Wat je doet is net zo eenvoudig te beschrijven als dat het moeilijk is om te doen. Beseffen dat je afgeleid bent kan in het begin soms even duren en komt ook later nog wel voor. Toch is dit nog het eenvoudigste om te oefenen.
Het duurde bijna twee jaar voor ik echt verder kwam met het ‘liefdevol rusten in het samenzijn met God’. Dat gebeurde toen ik de ‘Welcoming Prayer’ ging beoefenen. Meer hierover vindt je op de website van https://www.contemplativeoutreach.org/.
In het welkomgebed onderscheidt je bij een emotie de sensatie in de ziel van de sensatie in je lichaam. Je richt je op de sensatie in je lichaam. En dan ontspan op liefdevolle en zachte wijze je lichaam. Wat er dan gebeurt is dat de emotie transformeert in liefdevolle stilte en aanwezigheid. Daardoor komt de sensatie in je ziel tot rust, inclusief de bijhorende emotie veroorzakende of versterkende gedachten. De daarmee geschapen heilige ruimte zorgt ervoor dat je van daaruit vrijer kunt kijken naar je de gevoelens en gedachten en je ziel. Dat is dus in het welkomgebed. Wat ik ontdekte was dat ik dit ook in Centering Prayer kon doen.
Wat ik ook ontdekte was dat ik bij het mij richten op de sensatie in het lichaam vaak geen lichamelijk sensatie kon vinden. Steeds bleek dan dat in deze gevallen de emotie werd veroorzaakt door oude gedachtepatronen die niets nieuws toevoegden. Zij verdwenen als sneeuw voor de zon als ik mijn aandacht richtte op mijn lichaam. Niet zelden kwam er dan een glimlach op mijn gelaat: ‘Got you!’
Hierna vindt je de transcriptie van een voordracht door Thomas Keating over Centering Prayer.
Jan Verhoeven
De voordracht
Transcription of a lecture by Thomas Keating.
The thing that you have to remember here is that centering prayer as a method is two things at the same time and you must never forget either. One it’s a relationship with God and that’s why in the first lecture that usually precedes the imparting of the method we try to fix the centering prayer method in the Christian contemplative tradition and more specifically in the Lexio Divina tradition in which it has a part without being identified with the four stages of Lexio.
It facilitates the movement from the discursive meditation and reflective and visualization aspect of Lexio to resting in God.
The movement beyond thoughts and concepts to simply be in the presence of God and engulfed in that divine sense whether felt or unfelt. So this is a mistake that is easily made or a confusion. Unless you firmly emphasize the relationship as prayer, the discipline doesn’t make too much sense, because it’s not a mental discipline. It’s not designed to fix your mind or your blood pressure or your help you to grow hair or other things. It’s a relationship first and foremost and the method is totally in the service of that relationship.
And so let’s look at the guidelines then from that perspective.
In this talk we’re emphasizing the method and so you could easily get stuck on well, how I got to do the method just right. But it’s always a relationship and that means, unlike certain other disciplines, if you don’t do it correctly it doesn’t matter. It’s a help if you do it correctly but it doesn’t matter because it’s your intention that counts. And the relationship is with God. And God sees that you’re trying hard to do a nice job the best you can however much you’re stumbling. He’s not gonna hold your mistakes against you. He’s looking at your love and through another person or a book or eventually or through the expiration of the Holy Spirit you’ll correct whatever mistakes you’re doing. The main thing to do is to do it.
The principle method of centering prayer really is to sit down. Now that isn’t too hard for most people. Once you sit down then the Spirit has sort of got you. Especially if you’re determined to sit there for 20 to 25 minutes that you have agreed upon. And if you do that every day then your mistakes or misconceptions will gradually evaporate. Doing it is the primarily discipline. But there’s ways of doing it that couldn’t facilitate this sitting there and so let’s look at the guidelines now.
The first guideline is choose a sacred word as the symbol of your intention to consent to God’s presence and action within you. Notice please God’s presence and action. So we’re working with a dynamic relationship. A back-and-forth and exchange. A conversation which has moved towards communion on or is moving in that direction.
The second little guideline is that sitting comfortably and with eyes closed. We settled briefly like I’m settling in this nice chair breathing easily and so on. And then after a few moments of not doing anything just sort of settling, pausing maybe 10 or 15 seconds of quiet, you introduce very gently very casually almost informally the sacred word you had chosen in the first guideline. That symbolizes the consent of your will to God’s presence and action within. They always go together. God is not a statue he’s not a static force within us. It’s a loving relationship in faith. And hence God’s Spirit can do all kinds of things and suggests all kinds of things and he does.
The third guideline is when engaged with your thoughts return ever so gently to the sacred word. Well this is just to say or acknowledge the fact that they’re going to be various thoughts, feelings, sense possession, sense perceptions, noise in the room, people coughing, memories, imaginations, visualizations, sort of dreaming, all of this psychological material you might say is going to be flowing down the stream of consciousness as you sit there. And it’s inevitable, integral and normal. So this is a terribly important point to get through our heads. If we’ve been trained in the doctrine of distractions. That distractions somehow are harmful or interfere with your prayer. Now if you’re doing discursive meditation when you’re supposed to be thinking about something particular then other thoughts or distractions do interrupt your reflection in your prayer. But the centering prayer moves beyond that level of awareness.
And it’s designed to disregard the ordinary thoughts or activities of our psychological day-to-day awareness. So you’re not on the level that you’re usually on in discursive meditation. And hence we just disregard this thought or these thoughts which are more like noise in the street or background music at the supermarket that you put up with but pay no attention to. But it’s important not to resist these thoughts.
But it’s important not to resist these thoughts.
In other words, it’s important to have a joyful attitude towards the thoughts. A friendly attitude towards the most dreadful thoughts. Not that you linger over them or act them out. But it’s important that we expect them and they’re normal and they’re integral and so we receive them all with a smile sort of inward smile so to speak. A jolly attitude is recommended; here they go again, ha ha, that sort of thing. Reason for that is that any emotional frustration or annoyance or distress or grief it’s not appropriate because that is another kind of thought. Because it’s emotionally charged it’s more of a hindrance to entering into interior silence which is the proximate goal of this prayer than any number of casual thoughts that go by. So as soon as you’re annoyed you have a second thought which is much more disturbing than the first one. And so there really is great wisdom in taking for granted there’s going to be lots of thoughts and endless thoughts and that with practice you can disregard most of them.
…entering into interior silence which is the proximate goal of this prayer
Now the term thoughts is a technical term in our centering prayer practice and it’s an umbrella term, we could have used another term but this one kind of got stuck in, which any perception whatsoever is referred to that is inner and outer sense sensations, memories, feelings, emotions, plans, commentaries, any perception at all is a thought in the context of the centering prayer practice.
That means that every time you are engaged with any perception whatsoever according to this third guideline you ever so gently return to the sacred word. Not because the sacred word has some inherent miraculous power of just stopping the thoughts. It doesn’t. And it’s a mistake to use it as a bulldozer or a baseball bat to knock the various thoughts out of the ballpark. This prayer is totally nonviolent. And in fact it’s as effortless as possible. So that the very term ever so gently means you return to the sacred word with the minimum of activity. Not only that but this return is the only activity you initiate in the centering prayer.
This return to the sacred word is the only activity you initiate in the centering prayer
In other words you do nothing except to return to the sacred word when it’s challenged by some attractive or repulsive thought that begins to take you out of the disregard of thoughts and out of the developing piece or interior silence that is gradually being insinuated through the holy spirit into the spiritual level of your being.
Now the final guideline is very simple. At the end of the prayer period we remain in silence for a couple of minutes. Now when this is being done in a group we sometimes suggest the leaders say the Our Father ever so slowly so that it takes two minutes to say it. But obviously the others don’t say it with the leader because they get all mixed up because the leaders, whoever she or he is, follows their own pace but you just say it ever so slowly and in fact I will give an example of what I mean when we bring you into this prayer shortly.
So there are the four guidelines. Now let’s take just a minute to look at them a little more in particular.
Choose a sacred word as the symbol of your intention to consent to God’s presence and action within. The sacred word expresses our intention to be in God’s presence and to surrender to this dynamic divine action. Yield to it. So that it’s an opening first of all to the action of God and the letting go of our, at least in our intention, of the obstacles, to allowing God to impress upon us those attitudes which the spirit may wish to present. But we have to take a moment then, to choose a word. So in a group that is just hearing this for the first time we say well now we’re going to take a minute or two, perhaps two minutes of silence. I invite you to close your eyes and I invite you to look inwardly and to ask the Holy Spirit to suggest a sacred word of one or two syllables that you feel comfortable with and that would express as the symbol or gesture your intention to be with God during this time and totally open to the divine action. So we then may suggest, after they’ve closed their eyes, several words. And normally we suggested one of the sacred names of God or Jesus or even Mary and we just say them slowly and let people sive through that choice and come up with one at the end of a minute.
What are some examples? Well I suppose Lord, Jesus, Abba, Father mother, amen, yes even could be. Certain words that are hallowed by tradition. You might think of choosing one of those words from another language that might be a little more musical or that might appear to you especially if you know the other language like for instance Kyria.
Now although I said we take a word of one or two syllables, I exercise a certain liberty with regard to the cloud myself and if the third syllable is just one letter I don’t think it will interfere with the principle too much so Kyria is an incredibly loaded and profound word that’s been used for centuries and it means Lord. Or it might be instead of Jesus it might be Jesu, which is in latin. Or what is perhaps even more attractive it could be the sound that Jesus actually responded to as a child or as a man which is Yeshua. Notice Yeshua is kind of more peaceful way of saying Jesus. Jesus is a little powerful. But this is all depends on how comfortable you feel with the word what is most congenial to you, what is most built into your physiognomies you might say at this time in your life, because holy words get into the body after a while and say themselves. You might like the term Amen instead of yes.
…holy words get into the body after a while and say themselves
Now it has to be acknowledged that some people who come to us are in rebellion against the Christian religion or all religions. So words that we would find sacred, are buzz words for them. And so they will not be attracted to Jesus, Christ or God or something else. And so that’s fine because in choosing a word it is the meaning that we invest in the word that is more important rather than the inherent meaning of the word itself. So if you choose a word like peace or it’s Hebrew form Shalom as the expression of your intent to be with God, that is what makes it a sacred word. The word then is not sacred because of its inherent meaning or its hallowed place in Christian tradition, but it’s the meaning that you give it that makes it sacred. And that is to say your will has made it sacred or your intention has sacralized this particular sound as an appropriate expression of your intention. And so that when it’s challenged by thoughts going by, you can easily and gently return to it and it re-establishes your original intention just to be with God. That’s all the sacred word does. It has no surprise meanings, no trick effects on your psyche, no profound stirring of the subconscious or the unconscious. It simply means what you want it to mean.
Well now let’s suppose the two or three minutes are over and everyone has quietly come upon a word that they’re going to use. It’s important then to tell them you must stay with that word during the whole time of this prayer because otherwise you’ll start thinking again shall I turn to Amen instead about more. And so the whole thrust of the prayer is to stop thinking. Now this doesn’t mean you’re not have thoughts but notice this delicate distinction. We’re not going to think about the thoughts so you can have all the thoughts in the world go by and they won’t interfere with your prayer. It’s only when you start thinking about the thoughts and feelings that you interrupt your original intention of just being totally open to God. And that calls for some response to reaffirm your original intention and to get back to where you started. And so you can see that this practice is constantly cultivating your spiritual awareness, the spiritual level of your being, the spiritual level of the intellect which is intuitive, and the spiritual level of the will which is the will to God, the will to open to infinite truth, infinite love, infinite happiness.
So perhaps that’s a good word to sum up this first sort of stage of learning the centering prayer is opening, opening, opening. Now after a while this opening is going to be transformed into a letting go of oneself into God. The idea is important of self. Love, the divine love is total gift of self and this is the stream of charity that we’re being invited to immerse ourselves in gradually through the process of non-conceptual prayer especially one that is as receptive as the centering prayer is. So I’ve spoken now enough I think about the sacred word, the first guideline.
Just a few words about the second guideline which is sitting comfortably. And with eyes closed. We sit comfortably so that we won’t have to think about how uncomfortable the body is because all forms of thought or impressions we’re trying to let go doing this prayer. Secondly we close our eyes to let go of our external environment and also of our interior world that may be thinking about this or that when we sit down. So closing the eyes is also closing the inner eyes to whatever is going on in our interior world. We don’t cease to bond with those we may be with. Actually this whole movement implies a in immersing ourselves in them, in the redemptive attitude of Jesus into the Paschal mystery which is sharing the pain and the joy and the needs of the world so that our prayer is an implicit prayer for everything God wills, implicit prayer for everybody in need without mentioning any names.
There’s another time when we may be called to pray specifically for certain events but since we only ask for a half an hour or so twice a day you have the whole 23 hours of the rest of the day to pray as much as you like for other people or do whatever you like or do other forms of prayer. Centering prayer does not bring other forms of prayer to an end. But it does put them into a new perspective, a deeper meaning. And one sees they’re there then from a kind of unified perspective in which they’re all moving each in their own way towards this deeper awareness of the divine presence both in ourselves and in everyone else and throughout the cosmos.
So having chosen the sacred word, we don’t change it. Now it’s true, the first few days you might try one or other word, but it’s important to settle on one and to stick to it because it eventually it gets sewn into the psyche ever deeper and deeper and deeper.
And now let’s look at the third one which is perhaps the most crucial one for most of us. When engaged with your thoughts return ever so gently to the sacred word. We said that thoughts are inevitable. We said they were integral. In other words, they are a part of the prayer and as far as we can tell from our present level of experience they are integral because your thoughts may be coming from the unconscious and may be part of the process of healing.
…and may be part of the process of healing
That I’ll come to later in my next lecture. As the spirit works as a kind of divine therapist. And one of the ways that he heals the unconscious is by allowing its feelings and its thoughts to surface especially during prayer and then later sometimes outside the time of prayer. But it is precisely the programs in the unconscious or what psychology calls the dynamics of the unconscious that hinder the free flow of grace and hence need to be addressed by the spirit and brought to our attention. We have to let go of them both in our prayer and in the consequences of them in daily life. So that you can see right away that the centering prayer involves the whole of life. And the activity by which we bring its fruits into daily life is almost as important a factor in the project as the actual time that we faithfully spend each day in the prayer itself.
Thoughts are a normal part of centering prayer. As I already mentioned, a jolly attitude helps very much. But it works somewhat like this. Suppose you were in deep conversation with someone you loved and high up in an apartment house and the windows are open. The traffic is going by and the noise you can’t stop. But all of a sudden there’s a crash in the street and the decibels go up and you naturally feel a curiosity to go see what happens. Well this is what happens when interesting thoughts or boats come down the stream of consciousness. We want to look at them. Oh what what are we going to have for supper and so on. And then as your mind begins to look at this thing or as let us say, the young man begins to go to the window to see what the accident was. He suddenly remembers oh what am i doing. I’m in this deep heart-to-heart conversation and I’m not interested in. It’s not a time to go look at see what’s happening outside or to judge what we’re really gonna have for dinner. And so you want to reinforce or reaffirm the original tete a tete that you were having. And so what would you do? You would turn your eyes back towards the beloved, your friend, as a gesture of renewing the conversation from where it got somewhat disturbed. Or you might say excuse me, or you might say as I was saying. Well that’s what the sacred word does for you. It’s when you are lifted out of your basic intention and start watching thoughts that you’re attached to or have an aversion to that. You need to do something to return to the sacred word. But if the thoughts are just going by like noise in the supermarket and you are not paying any attention to it, you’re just dimly aware that it’s happening then there isn’t a necessity to go back to the sacred word, because you’re already at the place that the sacred word is meant to facilitate you are reaching. Which is the abiding turning and resting in the presence of God within you at the deepest level.
So let me just sum up very briefly in this modest diagram here what I’m trying to say. Suppose that this is our ordinary awareness. The stream of consciousness that we’re experiencing during the time of prayer. And here are a few boats that are going by. Boats representing thoughts feelings, images and so on. And it’s usually a fleet of them. Sometimes the whole United States Navy seems to be going down with all the guns banging and so on. So whatever your experience you’re having thoughts going by at this level.
At a deeper level, let’s call this the ordinary level of our awareness and let’s call this the spiritual level of our awareness. Which you’re really not aware of most of the time except to the peak experience or when life or tragedy or something brings you to that place. So we’re mostly unaware of what might be called the river itself on which all our thoughts and faculties are resting. So we’re kind of absorbed or dominated in our ordinary psychological life by the objects of events and people and our emotional reactions to them. The purpose then of the centering prayer is to move from the ordinary level to the spiritual level and indeed not to stop there because the human being has it greater depths than that. But to move even deeper to the level of the true self which is our participation in the divine life and the divine presence itself as source of our being at every level. And it’s accessing or awakening our awareness to this presence that is the ultimate goal of contemplative prayer or centering prayer. But to reach it we have to pass through the spiritual level. And to awaken the true self and whatever of God’s ultimate divine presence he may may want to share with us. Which is a whole new life. Which is a transformed life. And which it seems to me is what the gospel invites us to especially in S. John where Jesus speaks of inviting us into the same union and unity that that he experiences with the Father in the Holy Spirit. Hence this is so important again from the perspective of prayer as relationship.Now there lots of prayers at this ordinary level. Our vocal prayers, our reflections in our Divine Office and the sacraments. But each of these things, especially the sacraments, has this mystical depth teaching which helps us to understand the symbols of the church. From this spirituel level in which they are transformed and their meaning becomes immensely more powerful more attractive and more personal as well. As at the same time bonding us with everyone else who is having a similar experience in grace. And that we might say that the centering prayer is primarily involved in awakening this particular spiritual level. As a preparation for going deeper still which is the work of the various stages of contemporary prayer and mystical life.